Spill The TEA

Unraveling Trinity Wounds: Navigating Female Friendships and Healing Through Connection

TEA Sisters- Tracy, Kerri, Jennifer, Jodie, Mary Season 4 Episode 7

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Has the curiosity of Trinity wounds ever tugged at your thoughts? We promise to unravel this intricate concept, grounded in intergenerational trauma, that subtly molds women's relationships and interactions. These three profound wounds, namely the mother, sister, and witch wounds, often breed feelings of betrayal and mistrust, making communal settings a daunting prospect.

Let's traverse through personal experiences that spotlight the insidious culture of competition among women, leading to sister wounds. This silent rivalry isn't confined to particular spaces; it sneaks from high school corridors to corporate offices, shaping women's perceptions of success and belonging. The intensity sometimes triggers a tribal-like behavior, exacerbating the sister wounds. Does this sound familiar? As we share our unique perspectives on how sister wounds have touched our lives, we shed light on the risks and rewards of engaging in female friendships.

As we wrap up our confab, we'll share our mission to create an environment radiating connection, healing, and love. To add a twist of rejuvenation, we'll explore the essence of participating in the 2023 Goddess TEA retreat. So, let's turn the dial of understanding and empathy up a notch. Together, come to the table- we saved a seat for you.

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Kerri:

What were the three? There was sister wounds. What did they call them all?

Tracy:

They called them Trinity wounds.

Mary:

Sister, mother and witch.

Tracy:

I had. Yeah, I'm curious about that. But I put us on a deep dive for sister wounds after the three, but they're called the Trinity wounds. They're based on intergenerational trauma.

Kerri:

Ash, we're just digging deep, y'all.

Tracy:

I know, I know I got this and I was like Holy Jesus.

Kerri:

I was like what the hell are we doing.

Mary:

I feel like the sister wound discussion is relevant because of the retreat, Like if women are feeling intrepid about coming into community because of some previous experiences and betrayals by women that it doesn't seem like an inviting thing to do if you have a history of that kind of trauma. Good, point.

Tracy:

I think that's a great lead in Mary.

Kerri:

All right, so welcome back to Spilled the Tea. Today we are going to be talking about the Trinity wounds, and I wasn't familiar with this concept before we got started, but I had a little bit of information. Tracy has a little bit more, so I'm going to throw it over to her to get us started.

Tracy:

Thanks, kare. We're missing Jen and our newly licensed certified social worker for this conversation, so you'll have to bear with me. I turned to the APA, which is the Association for Psychologists in America or something, I don't know. That's who you go to for psychology information and really you have to take this back a step into intergenerational trauma, the phenomenon in which the descendants of a person who has experienced a terrifying event show adverse emotional and behavioral reactions to the event that are similar to the person himself or herself. So, layman's terms, you have an ancestor that experienced something horrific, perhaps like the Holocaust, and some of your behaviors and fears are based on those things that have happened generations before you. Does that make sense?

Jodie:

Yes, yeah.

Tracy:

It's kind of what we've been talking about the last couple of weeks, but that leads us into Trinity wounds, and those really are specific to the feminine and the feminine energy that we have, and there's three of those, and the three of those are the mother wound, the sister wound and the witch wound. So the mother wound is the pain of being a woman passed down through generations of women in patriarchal cultures. It includes dysfunctional coping mechanisms that are used to process that pain. The sister wound is similar. It is the pain of being consistently betrayed or wounded by other women in our lives and culture. This wound is enhanced by societal expectations, standards in other wounds, like the mother in which wounds that we encounter in life. So the witch wound, which is new to me, I've heard of the first two is the wound is the pain of being hunted and persecuted for being a woman with strong convictions and inherent power.

Kerri:

I'm just most curious like which one of those wounds really resonates with everyone the most.

Mary:

Well, I'm the one that brought up the topic of the sister wound. I don't remember where I was reading about it, but I was thinking about how trust is built between women and how it's broken down between women, and that in anticipation of the retreat, and why maybe some would not be interested in joining a community of women because perhaps they have some sister wounds that make them decide that that is not a safe place to assemble.

Tracy:

Yeah, I completely agree. I think in different times, carrie, maybe different portions, I can see all of them. I think that there was an aha moment for me when I saw a meme at some point that said back in the day they weren't burning witches, they were burning women, and they were burning women for doing exactly what we're doing right now, getting together and talking about things like this. So I mean that was a like oh aha moment for me. But sister ship wounds remind me of the high school lunchroom. They remind me of being 1415, 1617, where girls are bartering in secrets, they are pinning each other against one another for power, whatever that is. But whenever I think of something like this, I think a high school and that feeling.

Mary:

I have distinct memories in third grade. I don't think I shared with the friend that I liked a boy, but I saw it happening where they would tell the secret to the public in third grade and it was humiliating and embarrassing. And I also remember in fifth grade doing of all things, a trust walk with someone and it was another peer, a female peer, and I was blindfolded and she let me run into the wall and she laughed at me oh yeah, right. And then, of course, you know I think of in my long term relationship that ended in marriage. The most obvious reason was that he had a mistress. And when I think of, I have more, more hatred towards her than I do of him, and I'm not quite sure why. But that's just how I feel about if I were to compare side by side.

Tracy:

I don't know. I get that, though I mean you don't expect that from another woman. And then I don't know. Is there an unwritten code? Probably not. I wish there were an unwritten code.

Mary:

I think it's written.

Tracy:

Is it written? Oh, it should be written. It's called adultery oh, okay, it is written. It's written in the code of law.

Mary:

You also see it in leadership, where they talk about getting a seat at the table as a woman. And so Abby Womback does it right. She wants to bring everyone to the table. She points to the team. You know in her messages that she gives A lot of times women in leadership will step over others to get to the top rather than bringing everybody with them.

Tracy:

Yeah, and saying I instead of we and I get that. Do you think, mary, that those types of wounds, when you feel that disconnection, make you want to go it alone and shy away from other women like you were talking about? Yeah?

Mary:

Maybe not necessarily that, but not making myself vulnerable by keeping things closer to myself, then just feeling vulnerable about sharing.

Tracy:

Yeah.

Mary:

Sharing intimate stuff.

Tracy:

Right, what about gossip?

Mary:

I've participated in it. I know.

Tracy:

I know, yeah, I have too.

Mary:

And then now I'm just like, well, no, now I'm ashamed of it, like I wish I had that, yeah, but when I'm doing it, I know it's more on the top of my head that this is not my story. I shouldn't be, you know, perpetuating what could be untruths.

Kerri:

Gossip to me as an adult. I I don't know, I don't feel like I know if people are like like gossip to me just feels like a high school term. Um, I don't know, like maybe, I don't know. Do people talk? Maybe, but I don't know. It's such a weird thought for me.

Mary:

Well, I have an example more recently, let me just say, somebody at work was going through divorce and people in my circle wanted to know more information about it, wanted to know who. Do you know who wanted the divorce? You know? Just asking me questions and I thought this is and and I think they they had good intentions maybe, but it felt like they were digging for information and I did not feel comfortable saying anything and so I told them that I said that is not my story to share with you and I had all the information because they were confiding in me.

Tracy:

As I've aged, I either try to spin it to the positive, where somebody's sharing something and I'm just like, wow, that sounds tough, that's a tough story to hear, or saying what you said. I'm not comfortable sharing that with you, or they get this from me. I'm nervous, I don't know.

Kerri:

I don't really identify with sister wounds that much. I hate to say that like, I feel like, yes, there were things that happened when I was younger, that probably were those gossipy things, but I don't feel that they carried on into my adult life as some sort of wound where I don't trust women, so you don't struggle to trust women in relationships and truly let them in.

Tracy:

Are you selective of the people you let in, though?

Kerri:

Yes.

Tracy:

Why, why?

Kerri:

Because I feel people's energy and if you are a gossipy, bad energy person then you don't get in my circle.

Tracy:

So you're good at shooing it out.

Kerri:

I feel like it and I think the other thing is is that like the reason I asked, like what you guys identified with this? Because I would more identify with the witch wound? Because I just feel like I maybe I'm at a point now, and maybe not for a long time, but where I am just willing to stand in the truth of what is like. So when you're talking about, like, going back to middle school or high school and somebody told about a boy you liked, like now I'd be like, yeah, that's true, I like him. You know like own it, Like I am just more willing to stand in my truth than I was in the past. You know, like, if it's true and it's the truth, then Okay.

Tracy:

Yeah, but little carry inside you could identify with that stuff.

Kerri:

I'm not saying I did when I was little, but I would say Now it doesn't.

Kerri:

Now I don't feel like I'm holding on to any of those things and when I think about relationships with women who I don't have anymore, I don't think that they were really like Big blow up, were not friends anymore. I think there was just a gradual and an understanding by me and maybe them, that sometimes friendships come in seasons and you need someone for a period of time and then you don't, and I think that's okay. I can think of several friends, actually female and male, where you know there was a time when they were an important person and brought something to my life and then maybe weren't and we've gone separate ways.

Mary:

I but I don't feel wounded by that I wouldn't say I shared in a previous podcast about my uncanny reputation of pissing off brides because of my inadequacies as a maid of honor. But that's what led to an implosion of a friendship with someone that I considered my best friend. And then we were out and she literally snubbed me, physically snubbed me without explaining what was happening, and that was hurtful and that wounded me Right as a 30 year old Right and then at 30 you're like wait a minute.

Tracy:

I don't remember how I dealt with this one as 15 with the house I was supposed to do now, Right, right, I don't remember.

Mary:

Exactly Because I had a best friend of one, and so this was pre tea and I realized just how lonely I was. And then we all know the rest of the story Tea invitation 20 years later, here we are, but it was significant. That was a wound for me. She reached back out to talk about what had happened and I sat down with her, but it didn't change because I no longer trusted her. There was no way I was going to rekindle a friendship that with somebody that had treated me like that.

Tracy:

I had a friendship blow up that was due to trust and there was a lot of just. There was just a blatant issue of like whoa who said what to who and why, and it was a shock, Because generally I see the best in people. It was such a shock that I had to have like this horribly, like it was like a firm boundary setting that was like, hey, you crossed this line and this is just no. For me, this is a hard no.

Kerri:

I feel like such a jerk sometimes so I'm just going to say that. But, like when that happens, I don't feel wounded by that Like you're feeling no. When I set a boundary and I say uh, uh, like this is who I am and you either respect it or you don't. And if your actions or your words are saying no, then I'm moving on and I don't think I care to look back and feel bad about it.

Tracy:

I know. I do think, though, that that you get angry and underneath that anger is hurt, because anger secondary. I don't think it's fear. I think that there's some hurt under there. I just think that you're able to disassociate with your anger.

Kerri:

Yeah, I do get, I do get hurt and I probably have some moments, but then it's just like moving on.

Tracy:

You process it. Yeah, I think you're quick to process, but I do think you get hurt.

Kerri:

Yeah, oh, I'm not. There are times like but I can think of some that weren't. You know, I can think about like some long term friendships that have reached out to me and I think that there are friendships that have recently ended. That, yes, that is hurtful and it's sad, but I don't regret being friends with them or the times that we spent like. I can see all the good things in the parts that we were together, but I also can see the good things in us not continuing to be friends and moving on, you know, and it's not like some gaping thing that's breaking my heart every day.

Tracy:

I'm upset about it now, but it definitely took time to heal that hurt, which started out with fierce anger that I had to let simmer down before I could Right. I guess it's like Well setting a firm boundary.

Kerri:

I guess the best way I can think about it is I feel like you learn something when those things happen, right, like you know, like if something happens then it's like oh no, I know, if someone has these traits or does it or does these things, that it's likely they are not in my inner circle and I will not be vulnerable with them. I will keep them at a distance and I will not bring them in until their actions words, blah, blah, blah show me that they are not those things.

Mary:

I think that's for me. That's what the wound is. Yeah, it's the lesson in that it is the residual memory of that. It's not that I'm pining over this lost friendship, it's that. Oh, I remember that and I remember how that felt and that's the wound. There's a scar and it remains on my body in my memory. That's what I consider the wound to be.

Tracy:

I agree it's like a scar. I had an instance where a coworker at the time became a friend and, in the name of our friendship, was trying to be super helpful but in the meantime was working behind my back to been a very terrible story about me. That would impact my reputation and since I've been very leery with creating friendships at work, I've never worked like that before. I've always worked where we create this team that feels like a family unit, and it took over a year for me to get back to the place where I would be a little vulnerable with people I met through work.

Mary:

Yeah, that's a wound. Yeah, or lesson learned, or whatever adjective you want to put on that.

Tracy:

Talk about when you've seen other women as competition and just speaking of work. That's where I get competitive. I don't get competitive when we play games and I don't get competitive like at a ropes course or anything. I get really competitive at work with anybody or other women anybody like I want to do the best. I want my programs to be the best. I want my team to be the best.

Mary:

I don't know if anything stands out for me.

Kerri:

Not for me either. I see that as like. I think if it would happen, if I felt that way, it would be a real trigger for me to know that I needed to do some real deep self-invuction. Because I mean, you know fun and games, yes, I can be competitive, but at the end of it all, like I'm not going to care one way or the other, I'd be most disappointed if I just didn't show up as myself. I think. So trying to compare to someone else doesn't serve me any good, because I'd be more disappointed if I wasn't just myself.

Mary:

Well, okay, I can come up with. One is cooking competitions at work. Okay, I just had one and I didn't win what you didn't get the ladle this time it was a golden tong. No, you didn't use tomato soup did you. It was a salad competition and Up for Grabs was a golden fork and VIP parking, which I've had VIP parking all month, which is super nice because it's right by the building. So I've won two soup competitions and we just did a salad one and my potato salad didn't win Really. No that's crap.

Mary:

That's the best potato salad I've ever had, and if we were voting by how much was left over, I would have won. And that's not because there was one spoonful. I get competitive in that way. There was another person that was submitting for salad. When she heard that I was submitting something, she goes. Mary always wins, but I've only won twice.

Tracy:

Oh my goodness. So HR really got involved, didn't they?

Kerri:

There's a whole conspiracy here.

Tracy:

HR's like Mary can't win again for equity issues.

Mary:

I wonder, I wonder, but there was such a huge spectrum of salads. You had dessert-y salads all the way to you know, let us salads. And there were a lot that I could eat. The only thing I couldn't eat was the chicken salad.

Tracy:

Somebody bring the marshmallows with the green stuff, the green stashio pudding. What is that stuff?

Mary:

called no, but there was a really good one. It was a grape, the grapes were huge and it was made with cream cheese and yogurt. That one was really good.

Tracy:

Did it have nuts or anything in it?

Mary:

Pistachios. What salad won Mary? It was a Mediterranean cucumber salad, four ingredients, very simple, and the person that won was a guy that works in our central services. So I found enjoyment that his won, because you don't normally have a guy from central services putting in a salad, you know, like cooking, doing anything like that. I like that he won it. But I get a little competitive, although I don't know how competitive really. I mean, I bring it in but I anxiously wait.

Tracy:

You were a computer, Mary.

Kerri:

I know.

Tracy:

I know I've watched you and Laura like run up a ladder thing to see who could get there we were together.

Jodie:

No, we were together on that.

Tracy:

We did?

Mary:

We sure did.

Tracy:

Yeah, we were in competition, that's saying Well, share one other women have made you feel either we just talked about competition, but jealous, or is resentful and did their or her success trigger you or make you feel like a failure? I just had to take a person off my social because because they were doing similar things to as I was and every time I saw it was frustrating me. It was making you resentful and irritated. The mutation is the best form of flattery, but yeah, it feels like your ideas are being confiscated. Plagiarized yeah.

Mary:

Plagiarized. Yeah, it's icky.

Tracy:

It is icky, the whole thing is icky.

Mary:

Officially, I am friend you.

Tracy:

Yay, mary unfriended her too. That's a sister wound. That's the meanest we packed together, and I don't know if that's a bad thing, though I mean we feel better.

Mary:

That's true like.

Tracy:

What is that? Like you guys all know that that story that I'm talking about, all of you would be together right now.

Kerri:

It's called.

Tracy:

Mean Girls. Yeah, yeah, it is. It's sister wounds. It's creating sister wounds though.

Mary:

Yeah, it's it's tribal, it is You're either with me or against me.

Kerri:

I'm trying to think like how that might be in my world. I'm like trying to think like oh, somebody doesn't like somebody, so I just don't like them either.

Mary:

I wonder if it's like an initiation to belong, like I have to cut this person down, say things so that I can belong to my group.

Kerri:

I think that it does. I do think some of it is learned. I think that I'm thinking in particular as a supervisor. I used to have these staff who, on the outside and to each other, you would have thought they were the best of friends. They spoke that way to each other and about each other, and boy I'd get one on one with them, though, and boy were they quick to cut the other one down.

Jodie:

Make sure really think what they say behind your back, though. Well, you know so quick to cut one down, right, but what would they say about the?

Kerri:

other Right and it was like I would just sit there, like, wow, I guess you know that could be how you, for all I know, you all could be talking about me. I don't know and I don't know. I guess I just don't know, I Wow.

Tracy:

Break your heart. We're not doing that. No, I don't.

Kerri:

I don't think you are doing that. I'm just saying Can you imagine? I can't, but what I can imagine is if it were true, like if I was in those friendships and that was my fake life, like I can't imagine faking that. You're my friend, tracy, right. I can't imagine.

Tracy:

I can't imagine how much energy that would take.

Kerri:

Exactly. Imagine if you really didn't want the best for your. This person who you propose is like your best friend, and behind their back you're just trying to tear them down all the time. What kind of a frickin life is that? I can't even imagine. I wouldn't even, and yeah. So if it, if that were to happen to me, I would be devastated because I would be blind sided. I would be hurt by that. But it was from what I saw in that situation. It was coming from both. Both of them were doing it. It was like that's horrible.

Kerri:

Why, why, like, why don't you guys just be honest with each other?

Tracy:

It's okay not to like each other. You don't have to.

Kerri:

Yeah, like I mean, honestly, one of the things I love most about my friendships with like all of you is is that I know, if I have a moment where Something isn't right, I'm going to come to you and say, hey, I think that I said this and I upset your feelings and or something, but I'm not going to just be like fucking Tracy, she did that thing. You know what I mean.

Jodie:

I'm not going to do that Some friendships are worth saving and some are not.

Kerri:

Right and cultivating like it's like any relationship, no relationship is going to be perfect. We're all growing and changing and you know, seeing things differently, learning new things, and sometimes we do have to circle back to each other and say, wait, you know, maybe before this was that and now kind of had to change a heart or whatever, I don't know. I just I couldn't stand to be that type of a toxic person in my own.

Mary:

Brinay Brown calls it when she's working with businesses. They'll say we have a nice problem. People are being nice and that's what those sounds like those two women were doing. They were being nice. They weren't being kind, it was nice, so they were just on the surface.

Tracy:

What do you do when there's a group of women that are talking shit?

Kerri:

I can. I remember in those instances I tried to like direct them back to each other, like have you talked to her about that?

Tracy:

I'm sure you got an eye roll.

Kerri:

Oh no, I'm sure that I got. Oh yeah, I have, but but she's still doing this and it's been. Then I would be like, so are you doing X, y and Z? And they'd be like, oh no, she blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. They'd be like you talked to her about that.

Tracy:

Oh my.

Kerri:

God, you want me to bring you both in so this could be discussed. Oh no, we've got it under control.

Mary:

Oh well, no Well, we might have to say real things.

Kerri:

I mean, I think that's what causes sister wounds. Right, it's someone like Mary, your example of the like the wedding thing. Someone had expectations that they did not communicate to you and then they were trying to be nice and expectations.

Tracy:

I think you hit the nail on the head, though, because they were trying to be nice instead of truthful getting what they needed, right, yeah, she was worthy of asking for what she needed that I wasn't giving her. Yeah, it was fair to you to know what the expectations were. You're not a mind reader.

Mary:

Right, and I recognize that. Oh, I should have asked. I should have asked what, what she expected. I didn't think to ask and so now you have double trouble Right Toil and bubble.

Mary:

I was in a recent conversation with Carl at dinnertime and I think this description of the which wound was related to what we were talking about and I don't remember the context of it, but I remember talking about women with strong convictions and Carl had said, or I was. I was saying you know, it's dangerous for women and families this is what it was. I was talking about the election, previous election, conservatism, liberalism and how, for some families, it's dangerous to have convictions that don't align with your family and and to have and to say something you could be persecuted for it or you could lose your family. You could be shunned from your family. And because he had said something like well, you have I can't remember how it was it was a really nice compliment that you're not bothered by saying what you want.

Mary:

And I wish I would have extended the conversation to say because I'm with somebody that wouldn't prosecute me for that or persecute me for that that I have the freedom and I know all of our significant others that were able to meet as tea without fear. When I think about 20 years ago how that looked, that was a very different landscape with the people we were with and how it's just so. It's so different now what what you would expect to be, how that kind of a conviction would be received, and that was in 20 years ago.

Tracy:

Oh, yeah, that is a deep witch wound. Yeah, that is now a scab, which is nice.

Kerri:

We broke, yes, this car, hopefully something we broke that doesn't get passed down, I feel like, maybe because I'm the only single one, I feel like there is a witch wound in the dating landscape that I have seen, where men prefer to talk about women in generalizations, and I'm just like over it.

Tracy:

Does it start out like women today?

Kerri:

It starts all women. Yeah, yeah, like when women are only out for this, or women want this, or and it's like what women and I'm a woman sitting right in front of you, so maybe you could ask what this woman might want. Maybe you can get a real perspective from a real woman.

Jodie:

Maybe the guy would say that's single. They are yeah. Yeah, there's some wounds there. Yeah, he really knew what women wanted. Maybe he wouldn't be single.

Kerri:

Well then, I guess I don't know what men want because I'm single. No, you just don't put up with their shit. Oh, I don't know, maybe maybe the men I date don't put up with mine either. I have no idea, but I'm still who I am.

Mary:

So that's what makes you witchy.

Tracy:

Yeah, you're a witchy woman. Are you experiencing this from other women in your life or do you feel like you trigger this wound in other women? The sister wound I think maybe younger me probably triggered this in other women. I wasn't as nice as I am now. I think I was much more I would say much more aggressive versus assertive. I think I'm nicer now. I'm sure I left sister wounds on other women.

Kerri:

I think that I probably have done that too, but again, I think it's just in that way that life moves on. I don't think it was something I can think about friendships that I have that just kind of ended with no real like this friendship is over. You know what I mean. No friendship divorce yeah, there was no friendship divorce and I still wish those people well. But there are some friendships I've had with some women that just petered out over time. They just served their purpose during a time when they were needed, and I don't know if that's how I feel, but maybe if I was to go to them they'd be like I have no clue what happened, we just stopped talking. Or maybe they're feeling like I just disappeared. I don't know.

Kerri:

But I just feel like it was just a natural progression of how a friendship ebbs and flows. I think that there's also the potential for it to become a friendship again, even with you, trace. You had moved, we didn't talk as much, and that happens. But now you're closer. Sometimes I feel like we talk more often and so I don't know. I just feel like those friendships, like I said, some of the ones I can think of where I'm not talking to people that I used to talk to on a regular basis. I just feel like they served their time and place and if they're meant to be back in my life at some point they will be, but that has not occurred.

Tracy:

I think some ebb and flow, but I think others. Despite friendship, divorce, a hard boundary was crossed. I would say yeah, that's probably I can forgive, but I'm not interested in revisiting it.

Kerri:

I think, when I think to some of those friendships, I think all of those people probably know there was a boundary that was crossed. Like you either didn't respect me, you didn't respect my time, you didn't respect my family, you didn't you know. I think that the people who I probably am not speaking with or haven't spoke with in some time know what happened. I don't think there needed to be a discussion and I don't have ill will towards any of those people. You know what I mean. I still can just be like yeah, they were my friend for a period of time and we did have, you know, some things in common and we helped each other through some things, and then we grew apart and now we're moving on.

Tracy:

That's about the retreat and this kind of behavior. I do have thoughts about the retreat.

Kerri:

I think that coming to the retreat is a risk for anyone. They don't know us Other than what they've heard from us through the podcast. But what I know is I know all of us and I know that we are committed to making it a safe place for people for that weekend and we want to create connection, we want to create healing, we want to create a loving environment where women can come together and heal, and so we're committed to that. I hope people will take a risk and join us and you know that's what we're offering and I hope that people will take a risk. And you know it goes back to those moments like Mary, what you're talking about coming to tea. We know what's a risk. It was a risk for all of us to become friends and we know what that risk feels like and that it can be hard. But we're ready to receive women that are feeling that way in those moments and bring them closer to people to form some connections.

Mary:

I think an added layer is going to be sleeping quarters. This is fully immersive Rooming with people, bathing with people, and you know what I mean. What are we doing?

Jodie:

What kind of retreat is this?

Mary:

I'm just saying, like there's one thing having being in workshops and being vulnerable but then also sleeping you know what if I don't get the top bunk, or what if I don't get the bottom bunk and there's only a top bunk left All of those things about dorming with people showering do you leave hair all over the place or all of those things that makes them have negative thoughts about others is what I'm saying.

Kerri:

Right and, quite honestly, I feel like we will have the people coming to the event who are like-minded, yep, and I don't see some of those things being a problem overall. Like, yes, it could be annoying that I snore, but you all know it, you'll all hear it, we'll all get over it in the morning and I'm hoping that that will be the same for everyone else. You know, like Mary, I pray that you sleep well or get up and see something Like I just want to see it so badly I think I'll do my best.

Tracy:

So, tell her scary stories before she goes to bed.

Kerri:

I do think that there will be minor things that are, you know things it doesn't matter where you go or what you do. That are challenging for us as human beings and individuals, right, but I do think that they will be so minor in the scope of the whole weekend that I believe people will be leaving feeling a renewed sense of self, and those minor things like somebody leaving toothpaste in the sink are going to be long forgotten in the scheme of things.

Jodie:

So when I was in college, I took a class called Achievement in Self. Did anyone else take that class?

Tracy:

I did Jody, yeah, I did.

Kerri:

I took stress in coping.

Jodie:

I think of the bonds that I hope to be forming between all of us and all of the participants. It makes me think of the achievement in self-class. It was two weekends, but I still have connections with the people that I was in that class with and I love them and they were awesome. They still are.

Mary:

That's cool. Well, that makes me a little sad because I did not keep in contact.

Tracy:

I was like, oh, who was in that class with me? I don't even know. I remember, I vaguely remember my instruction.

Kerri:

I remember fixing a wound in my stress and coping class. That's the one where I had the wife of a high school teacher that was not very, very kind to all of his students and I gave her a message to give her husband. All right, Trace, do you want to tell us how to make?

Tracy:

tea. I'd love to tell you how to make tea. Carrie, we are encouraging anybody who's listening to sign up for the retreat. If you are on the fence, your job this week. If you plan on signing up, sign up.

Kerri:

That's how we spell the tea this week.

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